We’re ending August in the rear end. That’s right anal sex. I just couldn’t have an Edusexual blog and not talk about it. Especially this month. Why you ask? Believe it or not, its Anal August. Well actually I think it is Anal Health and Pleasure Month, but basically Anal August.
Before we get to talking about the toosh, let me be very clear who I’m talking about. Both men and women. Men can have anal sex. Yes I’m talking to you straight men.
Nina Hartley said something I will never forget. She said gay men have better sex than straight men. Because they don’t have the social stigma of being gay associated with their sex. They are already gay engaging in homsexual sex, so they can be free to feel, touch, explore without worrying about “is this gay?”
So poignant. And I would go even further to say women. YES YOU! Further exacerbate the situation by having their own preconceived ideas of what being a “man” is in the bedroom (and out, but that is a whole nother set of issues). So consequently, a man’s ass is guarded like Guantanamo Bay.
Let me give you some anal play definitions that will help you for the rest of the blog. These definitions are taken directly from FetLife (facebook for the fetish community).
pegging: (1) The practice of using a strap-on dildo for penetration (generally applied female-to-male anal). (2) Sitting on a “peg” (like a butt plug, but fixed in place) with the intent of expanding the anus to facilitate anal sex, fisting, etc. (see anal training).
anal training: Inserting progressively larger objects (usually butt plugs) in order to stretch the anal sphincter, in preparation for such activities as anal sex and fisting. Safety note: Proceed slowly and cautiously in order to reduce the risk of hemorrhoids or worse problems; the recipient should always be in control of the insertion.
butt plug: Much like a dildo, only shaped slightly differently. Usually has a flared base to prevent it from entirely entering the rectum. They come in a variety of styles and sizes; some can vibrate.
STOP CLENCHING YOUR BUTT CHEEKS!
It’s just a blog. It’s just definitions. Relax.
I know you’ve heard that before:)
Leave your ideas of what is normal, what is straight, and what is supposed to happen in and out of the bedroom behind. Tee Hee Hee. I said behind during the anal blog. Sorry. Back on track. Pegging is a heterosexual act when done between a man and a woman. The only thing that makes it gay is if two gay people of the same sex engage in it.
LEAVE YOUR IDEAS OF SEXUALITY BEHIND
Yeah, I’ve heard that before. But there is a bundle of nerves around that rosette. Stimulate them. With a finger, with a tongue (annalingus or the street term Tossing Salad), with a toy, with a dick. Aaah soo many items, so little time.
The male prostate is like the female G-spot.Work it baby. Work it! That is if you can. Getting to a man’s ass is like coming up with a plan to infiltrate Fort Knox. It’s best to start off with a conversation. Talk about sexual fantasies and dreams. See how he reacts. Want to be more pro-active? Perhaps, see how far he will let the finger go during fellatio. Can you make it past the balls to the taint? Good sign. Massage the taint. Ease it past there. Did he clench? Push you away? No! Then Houston we have lift off.
For more on the “he-spot” or “p-spot” check out this article on AskMen.com.
Okay enough about infiltrating Fort Knox. Lets just talk about anal sex in general.
Okay I’m done.
Nah just kidding. This is what I have learned from my many workshops, books, and my fav late night sex educator Sue Johanson (shes off air now. If I’m incorrect about that somebody PLEASE let me know). You gotta start slow. Don’t just jam your dick(plastic or real) in someone’s ass! Especially if it is a virgin ass. Trust me that does hurt. Alot. And it may come with some heavy side effect, anal leakage (eeeew) being one of the minor ones. Take it slow. RELAX. Maybe start off with a butt massage to make sure your partner is relaxed. If they are clenching, don’t try anything. Start off with the back and work your way down. Have them completely at ease. Then start with a finger, then go to two. Ease it in and out. Now three. Build up to a penis or butt plug. And I dont mean in the same day. Unless you start early 😉
If you are using a toy to engage in anal play. MAKE SURE IT HAS A FLARED BASE! The last thing you need a trip to the E.R. Because you have something stuck in your butt. Can you imagine the X-ray.
Here is what I learned from my gay bff – make sure you are empty. Yeah! You catch what I’m saying. If you know you just had a plate of greens and beans, it’s probably not the best time for anal sex. You want to be empty. I wont regale you with the tales he has shared of learning that little lesson the hard way. According to him, he will run late for a “date” just to make sure everything was out of him, before something went in him.
Anal Hygiene – Make sure you are clean from the inside out.
Okay, well we’ve reached the end of my anal knowledge (not really). I think the best person to talk about Anal Health and Pleasure is erotic romance author Alexis Ke. At night she is a fellow romance writer, but by day she is a nurse. Alright Alexis, tell us about ass.
Alexis chiming in here, I want to share just a few important tips to keeping that sensual hole safe and pleasured. I would like to say I wasn’t always kinky, but that would be a lie. I do believe I was born this way. However, some of my kink I definitely learned along the way. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you are kinky if you like a little anal play every now and then or even a lot. There’s nothing wrong with sensual, sexual excitement and pleasure between two consenting adults.
But first, let’s talk a little about the anus. First I’ve got to give you a little anatomy lesson. I’d be remiss if I didn’t. And if you are wondering where I got this plethora of information, Alexis Ke is a registered nurse by trade and has been for twenty seven years. So trust me, I’ve done my home work.
The anus is that tiny pinched hole that was put in place to remove certain things from the body. Bear with me now. As time has evolved, men and women have found that stimulating that small hole and canal can bring much pleasure.
There are two main points to this vignette that I want you to remember, if nothing else. First and foremost, this is considered a dirty orifice. What I mean by that is, the bacteria that grows there, if put in the wrong environment can cause infections. With this said, whenever partaking in anal play or sex, you must never go from the anus to the vagina or touch around the eyes. It’s okay to go from vagina to anus. However, the vagina’s ph is totally different and to move even a minute particle of anal matter to the vagina will bring on such a terrific infection your partner may close it off to you forever. Hey, pay attention now. You gotta show you partner you know what you are doing and that you care as much about her pleasure as you want her to care about yours.
The second thing I want you to always remember is, the anus is the only orifice on the body that does not have lubricating glands. These glands are everywhere. The eyes, the ears, the mouth, the skin and yes the vagina. This is evident when something touches our eyes they water. You sweat not only to cool down but also to lube the skin. When you are getting intimate with your partner and it’s getting wonderfully hot and kicked up a notch, doesn’t the woman get wet, dripping wet? Damn, I hope so. And men, how often does your mouth salivate when you see your woman and she is hot and ready for you to pounce. That little drop of pre-cum is lubrication as well. So don’t forget this.
Well, the anus does not lubricate itself. Now you may find this gross but remember those times when you couldn’t pass your poop. It’s because it’s gotten hard and dry and not lubricated. Also the anal opening is a very tight ring of muscle and if it’s not lubricated it makes anything hard to pass by it. The anus is the one thing on men and women’s bodies that is pretty much identical.
This is why when you are partaking in anal sexual activity you must and I do mean must use lubrication. I’m going to say that again. YOU MUST ALWAYS USE LUBRICATION WHEN ENTERING THE ANUS. Men, if you want lube when someone is behind you, then please give the woman the same thing. At the opening of the anus is a very, very tight ring of muscle. It’s takes a lot of care to breech it. Lube will help with this. When entering the anus take care to do it gently and slowly. To pound equates to tearing. Tearing equates to pain, suffering and possible permanent injury. Do you really want your partner to lock you out of this place of pleasure? I think not. I’ve not met a woman yet who gets pleasure from being pounded in the ass like a jack hammer. I’m pretty sure there may be some out there; I just haven’t met any yet.
With this said, I have just a few more things to cover and then I’m going to let you get to whoever is on your mind. When thinking about anal play and sex, it can be very stimulating to have a cock sliding in and out of you while your vagina and clit are being stimulated as well. For the life of me, I don’t know why man didn’t grow a second penis when the world found anal play so pleasurable. What better orgasm than when a cock is gliding in your ass while a finger, or another cock is sliding out of your pussy. If you are interested, here’s a couple of ways to get it done.
While your man is in your ass, have him play with your clit, slid a finger or two into your pussy or even use that BOB (battery operated boyfriend) you have stashed in that drawer or shoe box in the closet. Don’t play, I know you have one. Also if you are into more than one man at a time, while you are straddling man one while he is lying on his back, have man two enter you from behind. You can never have too much love now can you. Sorry guys, this pleasure is only for the female. Work it so that she gets all the pleasure. Trust me they will reciprocate later and you won’t be sorry.
For the guys, if your man or your woman (using a strap on) is behind you, stroking you just the way you like it, make sure they tug on those already taut balls, wrap their fingers around your rod and stroke it. Girls, rub your fingers along the underside of his penis, making sure you press that spot at the base of his cock. Oh, my goodness. The things you have me saying. Giggle-giggle.
Okay, I’m pretty much done here. You guys have me horny and I need to go see what my man is doing. Sexy saucy spice undeniably delicious Alexis says you won’t regret following these instructions when it comes to anal play and sex.
Don’t forget the condoms. While you can’t get pregnant through the ass you can get STDs, sexually transmitted diseases. And make sure that wonderful lube you are heading out to buy is water soluble. Petroleum based lubricants will degrade the latex in the condom and they will develop miniscule holes making them useless. Remember, safety first.
Now go have some fun.
For once, I have no words.
Thank you to Alexis Ke aka Denise Jeffries for coming to visit for Anal Health and Pleasure month. She did an outstanding job. Hell I’m speechless and that is no small feat.
For more information on best selling award winning author Denise Jeffries, check her out at http://www.denisejeffries.com/
Until next time…Be Free, Be Safe, Be Loved,