Well folks I think I will dub today as Masturbation Monday. Hold on let me check my calendar and make sure I’m not in conflict with anything else….I just typed in Masturbation Monday in Google, and well, this is not my unique idea, apparently tons of folks are masturbating today.


Hell this post will be up all week. If you need to stop, take care of yourself, then come back I totally understand.

For those of you who aren’t keen on it. Let’s talk.

My vagina is a safe. Its has many keys and many combinations, but it’s locked and closed. I consider masturbation like knowing the combination to your safe. Yeah it may take other combinations, but you should at least know how to open it. More importantly every guy is not a locksmith, sometimes you need to tell them.







According to University of Illinois’s McKinley Health Center

A number of studies have proven the benefits of self-pleasuring to mental, social and physical health.

  • Masturbation alleviates premenstrual tension for many women.

  • Masturbation provides a healthy sexual outlet for people who choose to abstain from sex with partners or who do not currently have available sexual partners.

  • Masturbation can be a route to safer sex, to help prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections, including HIV.

  • Masturbation allows for sexual pleasuring for those who are not ready to engage in vaginal, anal or oral sex.

  • Increases blood flow to the genital region, which can help overall sexual functioning.

  • Masturbation can induce sleep.

  • Masturbation allows people to become familiar and comfortable with their body.

  • Masturbation is often suggested as a therapeutic technique for overcoming sexual dysfunction.

  • For women, it can help them learn how to achieve orgasm.

  • For men, it can help them increase ejaculatory control and manage rapid or delayed ejaculation.

  • Masturbation can help alleviate stress.


With a bullet

With fingers

 With a Toy

In the shower

In the bed...

According to Alfred Kinsey’s study from 1948-1953 (yes the famous Kinsey report) this what he found on masturbation.

92% of males reported that they had masturbated (p. 499, Male).

62% of females reported that they had masturbated (p. 142, Female).

45% of females who reported having masturbated indicated that they could reach orgasm within 3 minutes (p. 163, Female).

Masturbation techniques reported by females:
84% used clitoral and labial manipulation

20% used vaginal insertion

11% used breast stimulation

10% used thigh pressure

5% muscular tension

2% had fantasy alone to reach orgasm; and

11% used other techniques (p. 189, Female)

Masturbation was the most important sexual outlet for single females and the second most important sexual outlet for married females, providing: 7-10% of orgasms for those 16-40 (p. 525, 532, Female). In males, masturbation after marriage occurred with reduced frequency (p. 507, Male).

Yes, I touched myself and I liked it. I mean, slow steps to a healthy lifestyle. Eat right, work out, masturbate.

Oh that’s not what you’re nutritionist told you?

Okay I might have ad-libbed on the last one. Now lets talk about why people don’t masturbate.


No, I’m not kidding.

Believe it or not, there are those out there who refuse to touch themselves (probably not men. I’m just saying…). Since we’ve already talked about the benefits of masturbating. Lets talk about why someone wouldn’t want to physically love themselves. Here are some reasons

  • It’s not my job. It’s my partners job.
  • I might get addicted
  • I might go blind
  • What if I pleasure myself better than my partner
  • It’s morally wrong
  • It says that I dont need someone.

Okay lets eradicate those excuses.

Masturbation is a solo act. No partner involved. Its about your pleasure. Getting to know and understand your body, what makes you cum and what makes you cum quick. What you like and what you like to prolong. Masturbating does not negate a desire or need for a partner.

It’s not by job. It’s my partners job. – Why are you expecting someone to give you what you cant give yourself? We are talking about touch, sensation, ORGASM! Did you know most women experience orgasm through direct clitoral stimulation? That means a tongue, a penis, or a finger – yours or his. Why not both? Gaining pleasure alone does not mean you will not get pleasure with someone else.

I might get addicted – Uuuh not seeing a problem here. As long as you remember to eat, sleep, shit, go to work, and pay bills…it’s okay. Okay wait, there is more. As long as your masturbation doesn’t prevent you from seeking and maintaining a healthy relationship, you are good. If you are masturbating to the point that you dont want anyone because you fear, rejection, and/or disappointment (I can do it better without them), I suggest you wean off yourself and seek counseling (cause that is surely a deeper issue that cannot be dealt with in a simple Edusexual post). Otherwise – MASTURBATE!!!

I might go blind – I just threw that old wives tale in there to test you. I’m sure you guys know better. You will not go blind.

What if I pleasure myself better than my partner – *Sigh* I hate to keep saying it. I really do. I might even have to rename this blog from The Edusexual to The Communicasexual (yeah I know way too long, but you get the point).  TELL THAT MOFO! Communicate. Your partner is not a locksmith. Sometimes you have to give them the combination. Or at least tell them where the lock is.

“I like it when you do this.”

“This really turns me on”

“I can imagine myself…”

“I imagine you…”

Fill in the blanks with what you want, what you like, what turns you on and more importantly what gets you off.  If your partner is not receptive to communicating about sex then guess what, you have bigger issues. Deal with those. Masturbate in the interim and after and before and during and…you get the point. Communicate and Masturbate!

It’s morally wrong – Soooo we have left my area of expertise. Not cause I’m not moral. I am(ish) but because I dont know what your tenants of faith are, so I can’t speak to them. However, unless your doctrine of faith specifically says “Don’t masturbate” I think you’re cool. So go touch yourself.

It says that I don’t need someone – Own your sexuality. I’m going to say it again OWN YOUR SEXUALITY! Being aware of yourself, your body, and your pleasure can only increase your sexual relations with a partner. I said it in the first post and I’ll say it again. Love your self first and the rest will follow. This is on a mental, emotional and physical level. Don’t be afraid of your sexuality.

Okay you know I love definitions so before I go on lets define sexuality. Before you own it, you probably should know what it is.

Sexuality – (Merriam Webster)

: the quality or state of being sexual:

a : the condition of having sex  

b : sexual activity  

c : expression of sexual receptivity or interest especially when excessive 

Now I like Webster’s definition, but lets add to it. Here is The Edusexual definition of sexuality.

Sexuality – An awareness and/or expression of an individuals erotic pleasures, actions, and reactions

Loving yourself does not mean you dont want to be loved by someone else. Knowing yourself intimately does not mean you dont want to be intimate with someone else. It is simply an awareness. Being aware of your body, your pleasure, and your erogenous zones. Being aware of your turn on’s and turn offs. Once you know, you can explore them with a partner. Its your body! Own it! Touch it! Love it!


Not ready?

Have a glass of wine, relax, and masturbate.

Still not ready?

Have a glass of wine, watch a porno, and masturbate

*Sigh* Still not ready?

Lay down, relax, think of your sexual fantasies and masturbate. Do what you need to do to get in the mood. But don’t let this Monday pass you by without giving your self some good old fashioned loving.


Until next time…Be Safe, Be Free, Be Loved,

K.D. King