Well today we are going to be talking about Erotic Asphyxiation. Now as an asthmatic I’m an expert on not being able to breathe, but not necessarily for pleasure.
If you look at Hollywood everyone into Erotic Asphyxiation is a serial killer. In fact, I’m hard pressed to think of any story that puts it in a good light. Hell, I’ll take a medium light.
I bet you’ve practiced a little erotic asphyxiation and didn’t even realize it.
You’re laying on your back, your man is riding you real good. His hands caress your neck, he adds pressure, but its feeling good. He doesn’t stop and you dont stop him. You dont feel like your choking, you are just enjoying. the sensation. the please. the ride. OR your riding your man and the same thing happens.
There are light versions of everything, including erotic asphyxiation. The examples I just gave do count.

Hell I’ve practiced it.

While engaging in a sexual act my hands slid and caressed my partners neck and I ever so gently began applying pressure. TRANSLATION: I lost balance cowgirl style and needed something to grip…accidentally started choking him . But he didn’t stop me and he’s alive today. So…..

Since then I do squats on a regular, so if I do it again, it’ll be on purpose 😉

AutoErotic Asphyxiation: Can you handle it? Can I go there baby with you….

Teaching us about erotic asphyxiation is Sienna Mynx, naughty girl writer of bad boy Interracial Erotic Fiction. Just to get in the mood, I’m going to hold my breath while I read your post. Take it away Sienna. *Big inhale and hold….*

Can I have you? The way I like?

Close your eyes baby….

Let me squeeze you tight.

What does a girl open to sexual pleasure and experimentation do when the man of her dreams whispers naughty words of the forbidden into her ear? What’s your answer? Ah, you say it ‘depends’. Sex is only the beginning; the act of sex is what drives us to seek climatic heights. And what is safe play can be found in the erotic forbidden zones.

Take for example Erotic asphyxiation.

You’ve heard of it. Lovers, who like to push themselves to the brink during sex by applying pressure to their airwaves and depleting their brain of oxygen during those critical moments before climax. The forbidden act dates as far back as the 17th century. It was considered an effective treatment for erectile dysfunction. Researchers said that people would notice that when a person was hanged they died with an erection and sometimes ejaculated. Scientist have ruled out autoerotic asphyxiation as the cause, but many practice and enjoy this taboo decadence as part of sex. In fact there have been teenage suicides where kids have tried to simulate this. Nonetheless, a tight squeeze between you a woman and her partner when done safely can indeed be exciting inclusion for sex.

In my best selling novel Black Butterfly, I lightly touch on the forbidden between lovers Nolen and Sydney. What he does, how she receives it, unchains something in both of them that find impossible not to explore.

Black Butterfly – Nolen’s Game

Slowly, he climbed back over her with his erection pointed angrily toward her. He brushed his lips gently over hers and then wet them with his tongue until she granted him another naughty kiss. Again he insisted that her hands be pushed up and above her head. He forced her legs open wider with his knees and Sydney lifted her head from the pillow to chase his tongue for fear he’d stop the kiss. Oh how she loved to kiss him. His thumb toggled her clit with distressing circular motions that got her body writhing and warmth moving all through her channel. He then grabbed his cock and guided himself into her. His breech sent a spasm of pleasure through her pelvis. He thrust into her repeatedly, forcing her to stretch and accommodate his thickness. He rotated his hips in another maneuver and she fully received him.

“Keep your hands raised. Yeah, like that,” he panted. With a curve to his back, he lifted a bit to capture her nipple between his teeth and bit down lightly. She gasped as his other hand circled her throat. Sydney’s eyes stretched. He sucked her nipple and pumped his cock in and out of her while his hand slowly tightened on her throat. She gasped as pleasure and pain sent her body into distress. Too much happened at once. She nearly lowered her hand to claw at her throat for air, when his grip loosened and air rushed her lungs as her pussy’s muscles spasmed from the constant motion. Confused, she swallowed and gripped the headboard, holding on. Nolen kept moving, switching from one nipple to wet the other with his tongue. His hand again tightened on her throat as the other grabbed her hip. He was above her now, moving and staring down at her and she gasped for air, rolling her hips to match his rhythm. He kept her pinned that way with her arms stretched. Not letting up. Blood rushed from the chambers of her heart, slammed against her brain and her lids fluttered shut. Could she pass out? No sooner had the thought entered her head than his hand loosened on her throat and his mouth drew to hers. She sucked in the much-needed air and kissed him back.

Caught in the game of his loving, she gained more pleasure than discomfort. She desperately wanted to touch him. Throwing her hips up against his powerful thrusts, she took him deeper and farther than she ever imagined she could. She grabbed his shoulder and the back of his head, disobeying his rules. She had to hold on to him, to feel him now, her way.

What happens to people when they practice AutoErotic Asphyxiation? On either side of your neck you have carotid arteries that carry oxygen with your blood to your brain. When these arteries are compressed the sudden loss of oxygen to the brain can give the feeling of giddiness, lightheadedness, and pleasure. Those feelings are fleeting and the timing of the compression with a climax is the high the sexual partners seek.

What are the various methods used to achieve this during sex play?  The most popular is strangulation. Your partner puts his hand around your neck at the climax of sex and squeezes tightly. He is to pay attention to your sexual response to be certain that the pleasure does not risk your life. Some people have gone as far to practice this alone with plastic bags, belts for strangulation etc. And even in the most well thought out and safely planned acts accidents have happened that cause death.

Why on earth would anyone risk their lives for something like this? Ask a person who lives this lifestyle and they’d turn the question around on you. Why do people jump out of airplanes for fun? Why do people race cards at dangerous speeds for fun? Why do people think swimming with sharks is fun? All of which could lead to accidental death. Is it reckless? Yes. Is it for everyone? No. Kink, fetish, or just plain sadism, it is a part of sex that is often practiced by many. Do you have to understand it? Only if you want to play.

Would you do it? Hell nah! But I write fiction so it’s all fantasy baby!





Sorry passed out. Maybe holding my breath wasn’t a good idea.

Thanks Sienna you did an outstanding job bringing us into this erotic world.

Uh I’m sorry did I read correctly? Did you say “effective treatment for erectile dysfunction?” I know the fellas out there are glad for medical advancements and Viagra. But I’ll keep that as a mental note, just in case. Be warned. Dont go limp cause Imma choke the shit out of you.

You know for erotic pleasure.
To keep it up…


*Shrugs Shoulders* Whatever it takes!

I’m with you Sienna. It is definitely not for me. I went to a workshop on Breath Play at one of my local dungeons [Surely by now you people should not be surprised].

Actually I’m going to admit something to you. When the workshop said “Breath Play” I was all excited.

I thought “Oooh were going to learn some sexy way to breathe on our partner so it feels like a second person.”

Needless to say I was WRONG.


I sat there trying to take notes, but all I could do was stare with my mouth wide open thinking “Oh Shit!” as they brought out oxygen deprivation masks, punched folks on the side, choked their sub until she passed out, and all the other good stuff that goes with that.Though as a writer I was really intrigued by the actions and her describing the feeling of losing sensation, fingers tingling, watching her cough…it was interesting. But yeah, not for me. These asthmatic lungs can’t take it. Incidentally, the sub that liked it was asthmatic. But I leaned from that class and this post one important thing.


In addition to learning that I took away several other lessons from this:

  1. Pleasure – Pleasure comes in many forms. Its varied. Its more than just sex – the before, the during, and the after. Like Sienna said “Sex is only the beginning.” People who practice erotic asphyxiation do so because it brings them sexual pleasure. It’s a sexual high. I’m all about the legal high. Hell, the only kind of high I like is a sexual one. Pleasure, sexual high, and awesome climax – Hey ain’t nothing wrong with that.
  2. “Erotic Forbidden Zones” – The world forbidden is pretty strong. Between two consenting adults there is nothing forbidden. You are allowed to do anything as long as its safe, sane, and consensual. (You may remember that from our previous Learning from Kink – BDSM). When you think of something as “forbidden” we erase it out of our mind. We have already stamped it as wrong. I’m going to say it again, so you understand. NOTHING IS SEXUALLY FORBIDDEN BETWEEN TWO OR MORE CONSENTING ADULTS. Don’t deny yourself pleasure because something is “forbidden.” Learn about it, be safe about it, then try it (if it interests you). Expand your sexual experiences, explore your fantasies and your partners. Don’t cross something out because it is forbidden. Imagine all those wasted orgasms, if those people thought “it’s forbidden.” and never tried it. Remove “forbidden” from anything sexual in your mind and replace it with “consensual” then reach your own climatic heights.
  3. Judgement – Thank you Sienna! I know many people scrunch and turn their head and judge those who may like a little choking, but how is that any different from the risks and dangers you take. Stop judging peoples sexual pleasures. And more importantly don’t turn that judgement inward. Its counterproductive to your pleasure.
  4. Safety – Having actually attended a workshop I will say there are so many safety measures put in places when people participate in this. Being aware of your partner, their breathing, their signals, their reactions, their color, their everything. But there are other more practical safety measures put in place [And if i could find my notes, i would give them to you]. There is inherent risk in everything we do. Research, hell go to a workshop like I did, and put all your safety measures in place. When we hear of deaths they are because those measures weren’t put in places. Safety in ALL sexual arenas is important. Starting from the condom and ending with both parties snuggled up (or safely back at home. Heck it might have just been a booty call). Safety is paying attention to your partner and protecting NO MATTER WHAT TYPE OF SEX YOU ARE HAVING!!!
  5. Communication – Really, I shouldn’t have to say it. I say it all the time. But COMMUNICATION IS KEY. It’s damn near the main theme of this blog.  Want an eloboration check out damn near any post, especially from the Lessons From Kink series. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate. It is the foundation of sexual experiences and hell relationships too.


Thanks Sienna for dropping by and educating us on erotic asphyxiation. And a big thank you giving away one of your books to our lucky winner.

About Sienna:

Sienna Mynx is your naughty writer of Contemporary, and Historical Interracial Romance. Her tales are for readers that love the bad boys but desire to be the women that tame them. She currently has 22 published books, as an indie author. A current resident of southern Georgia, Sienna Mynx has emerged into the e-publishing scene deciding to take the business by the horns.

She runs her own publishing company The Divas Pen, and works with other indie-authors who want to understand how to self publish responsibly. Sienna has also released a series with Decadent Publishing, and has a paranormal story under Cobblestone Press. Her novels reflect her thirst for romance told from a dark, sensual perspective with the diversity women of all colors crave in Erotic Romance. Look for more to come.

Visit Sienna Mynx at http://thedivaspen.com


Until next time…Be Free, Be Safe, Be Loved,

K.D. King