I am a self-proclaimed expert on talking dirty. So naturally, I MUST do a post on it. I have literally taught classes and done one-on-one coaching sessions, and never had a dissatisfied (or not thoroughly fucked) client.
So now, let me share some tips and tricks with my fellow Edusexuals. I have developed a fool proof 8 step method to talking dirty. But you have to take the class to get that. HOWEVER, we will talk about some basics.
Speaking of basics. I hope you are enjoying our “Back to Basics” series. I mean with all this talk of White Tigress ( follow me on facebook to understand), BDSM, and Ancient Sex, I think it wouldn’t hurt to get some basics refreshers, like riding, talking dirty, fellatio, masturbation, and cunnilingus. Improve on what we already know. There is always something new to learn.
Talking dirty is one of my favorite forms of foreplay. There is nothing like building anticipation. And I LOVE to mess with people. I will tell you I’m wet at 10am when you can’t do anything about it until AT LEAST 8 hours later when you are home from work. Oh yeah, I love to mess with my partner. I want them on edge, just like me. (HELPFUL TIP: I do not fuck with my or other peoples money. So this is not good to do during the day of a big meeting or report or presentation because your partners mind WILL NOT BE ON WORK and neither will yours)
Do you know what kind of fucking will occur at 6pm if you have been giving little tidbits like that all day????
I’m just saying. 8 hours of built up tension that is continuously stroked throughout the day. I hope neither one of you have to go to work the next day or shit to do.
That leads me to
RULE NUMBER 1 – If you poke the bear, expect to get mauled (licked, sucked, and eaten).
In other words, don’t write a check your ass can’t cash. If you know good and damn well you have no intention of backing up your words, don’t say them. If you send your partner a text to let them know you are ready and waiting, expect them to leave work early or EXACTLY at 4:58 (in the car by 5), break every speed limit out there, and knock down the fucking door to get to what you promised them. So don’t poke the bear. Unless you are READY to be eaten. (And that’s a good thing)
Note – YOU HAVE A RIGHT to change you mind. You are NEVER under ANY obligation to have sex with someone. EVER! I don’t care who that person is to you and where you are in the sex act. This includes your partner mid stroke. You can change your mind AT ANY given point. You can say NO at any point. You don’t owe ANYONE ANY PIECE OF YOUR BODY. I want this to be very fucking clear. Your body, your rights.NOT someone else’s
If you are out of town talking like that expect phone sex to hold you through and to damn near be fucked in the airport parking lot when you return. DON’T POKE THE BEAR, unless you are prepared. Now the older you get, folks got jobs and responsibilities and maybe less inclined to chance a ticket for public indecency, but know when you get home IT IS ON!!! Don’t wear underwear that day. Just be ready.
If you know you are not into anal, and you say “I want your dick in my ass.” Uh guess what That mother fucker got some anal lube, Vaseline, Crisco, something and will be sticking his dick in your ass as soon as humanly possible.
Don’t say it, if you don’t mean it.Yeah, I like to be a tease, but try to do it within the boundaries of what has been discussed and agreed upon already. Dirty Talk is not the time to go “oh I just thought you wanted to hear it. I really don’t want to do it.”
And to add to this beautifully written Meme, if you can put a dick in your mouth, you can talk about it.
On the flip side, if you have discussed anal sex, the willingness to try it. Health risks, pleasure benefits, etc but you’ve never done it and ready to try “I want to feel your dick stretch this tight ass.” is perfectly appropriate.
Summary – Mess with them, make it last, be ready for action, and don’t introduce anything you are not willing to do. And most importantly
RULE NUMBER 2 – DON’T’ CUM
Cumming is the end (well for some. God bless youth). When I say don’t cum, I mean don’t come with your words. Keep the momentum going. Your words should never complete the act. Let that happen when your bodies physically touch. Or if we are talking about long distance dirty talking – then make your partner orgasm on your command. They will let you know when they are close. Choose your words to stroke right along with them, and climax when they climax. The greater the buildup, the greater the actual sex(this includes sex with your self).
DON’T CUM YET!
Well, that’s all for now. Check out part two where we talk about The Stages of Play.
Until next time…Be Free, Be Safe, Be Loved,